… at least in a manner of speaking. I was sent an interesting news release from Brigham Young University the other day titled “Siblings as Anti-Depressants”. Here is some of what the article said,

Something about having a sister—even a little sister—makes 10-to 14-year-olds a bit less likely to feel down in the dumps. That's one of several intriguing findings from a new study on the impact siblings have on one another. Brigham Young University professor Laura Padilla-Walker is the lead author on the research, which also sorts out the influence of siblings and the influence of parents within families."Even after you account for parents' influence, siblings do matter in unique ways," said Padilla-Walker, who teaches in BYU's School of Family Life. "They give kids something that parents don't."

And don’t worry, the study found that brothers matter too. In my blog “Do No Harm” I talked about the importance of expecting our kids to be kind to each other and more importantly to not allow them to be mean (cause harm) to each other. While it wasn’t our intention, one could easily read that and immediately feel guilt and terror over what is happening in one’s home. After all, what if my “normal” is siblings that fight? While the article doesn’t actually disagree with us, it does give us parents with “normal” kids some hope. Here’s what it says,

Many parents justifiably worry about the seemingly endless fighting between siblings. The study found hostility was indeed associated with greater risk of delinquency. Yet Padilla-Walker also sees a silver lining in the data: The fights give children a chance to learn how to make up and to regain control of their emotions, skills that come in handy down the road. "An absence of affection seems to be a bigger problem than high levels of conflict," Padilla-Walker said.

My number four child, Jordan, is getting ready to head back to Pullman for college. She has to drive our van back, move all of her stuff from storage into her apartment and then drive the van back here to Tacoma (about a 5 hour drive). She's asked her younger siblings to help and they have all agreed to go. In fact they are working to adjust their schedules in order to help their sister. Whenever I start to grow weary in training my kids, God provides an experience like this. It is worth all the effort when you see the end result. Remember when God calls us to love one another it starts in the home, with those he has placed closest to us, our family.

Be encouraged – as you work on training your kids to be kind to each other, know that in the mean time what they get from having siblings far outweighs the negative. Maybe God knew what he was doing!

You can see the complete article online at: http://news.byu.edu/archive10-aug-siblings.aspx