My daughter and I had a bit of a challenging week. We struggled with communication and with getting times and curfews right. When that happens with my teenagers it’s easy for me to get frustrated, which can lead to anger, which can lead to saying things I don’t mean, which can lead to damaged relationship, which can lead to no relationship. I’m sure you don’t struggle with that scenario, but for me it’s all too real. One of the best tools I’ve found in these situations is a date with dad. Now I’ve been dating my daughters since they were very young.

We typically started dates with dad when the girls turn four. And no, I didn’t date the boys. We were confident the boys would get their time with me just because of guy things (ball games, coaching etc.). We decided we needed to be intentional with our daughters. So way back when Alyse turned four (1987), Kelli dressed her up, I cleaned up and the two of us went out for a McWonderful time. These dates were never fancy, rarely expensive, but were one on one times for my daughters and me.  I don’t know how many dates I’ve been on. Not enough if I’m totally honest. Life gets busy and other things push their way in. Thankfully I have a wife who’s helped me make it a priority. In a perfect world I would go on a date a month with each daughter. Remember I have five girls. In reality when a couple of months would go by and I hadn’t dated the girls, Kelli would (gently) remind me and I’d get it on the calendar. It’s an opportunity for me to model how a gentleman should treat a lady. I still remember Jordan, at four years old, sitting in the passenger seat of the car. We had pulled up to Shari’s restaurant, I got out and started to head in. Until I realized she was still waiting for me to come open the door for her. Mommy had told her that daddy would come around and open her door! (oops)

                   Before we were dating!                                         Boy it goes by fast.

So now, I don’t know how many dates later, after consuming more fries than I should have, after visiting every pet store in 3 cities, I find myself still dating my daughter. Proverbs 23:21 says, He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity. Nowhere is that more true than parenting. We often find ourselves in calamity with our kids over something our tongue created! Dates can act like a pressure release valve, at least for me. Knowing that I am going to have some one on one time with my girls, especially if there is some frustration, lets me wait, seek counsel, gather my thoughts and be prepared. It allows me to guard my mouth and say what I want to say to this young lady I love so dearly.

Lastly there’s this – my daughter (that I was frustrated with and I'm sure was frustrated with me) and I went to Starbucks together (if you live in Washington that’s just what you do J). No matter what else got accomplished, I had a wonderful time spending nearly two hours with my teenage daughter! Just her and me – it doesn’t get much better than that. Dad’s if you don’t already – start dating your daughter. Someone is going to teach your daughter how a gentleman should treat a lady. I want that person to be me.