When your daughter needs or wants a man’s support in her life, who do you want that to be? When we decided it would be a good idea for David to start spending intentional one on one time with our girls when they turned 4, my first born, A-type personality came out. I began planning everything from when they were going to go, to what they were going to do!! Let’s just say that did not go over very well!!  I will say that David was open and interested in possible suggestions, but he wanted this to be authentic and not planned by mom and executed by dad.  He did recognize that mom’s have a pretty good pulse on issues, needs and situations going on in their lives that really need a dad’s influence. He brings a perspective that I have yet to match but very much appreciate. From discussions about boys to friendships to their future careers to money, siblings or God, it has been wonderful to witness his relationship with them blossom.  Here are some ideas that have really helped me support and encourage him with our daughters:

The cultivation of a rich, tender and very close bond between my husband and our girls begins with our marriage and the modeling of how I respect his differences, purpose and identity. The way I treat David trickles down to how our girls interact with him.  My heart’s desire is to set David up as the man that loves them more than any other man and treats them like we want them to expect other men to treat them. Here is one example: Our daughter Jordan asked us to bring gloves to a track meet because it was freezing cold. I remembered we also had hand warmers (those disposable kind you shake up and they get warm). So I grabbed them also. As we were walking out to greet her, I gave them to David so he could give them to her. She was so grateful her Dad had something extra to warm her up!! Some moms think” Why should I let him get the credit? Again, I ask, when your daughter needs a man someday, who do you want her to call??

So, when the girls were 4, dates were pretty simple. If they needed shoes or a dress or something else we had looked at, I simply mentioned this as a possibility. If something fun is happening in our community I give him the details. I always let him know if there are issues with siblings, school, friendships, athletics, or between me and them. He tries to not use dates as a time to lecture, but it has been good for him to be able to ask about things that are happening in their lives that may be hard so he can process and pray with them.

Lastly, I still go pretty crazy to this day when David takes the time to pour into our girls. I make sure to thank him and let him know how much his influence means to us. We have five daughters and he tries to have one date a month with each. Scheduling is always challenging so he tries to get the next date on the calendar as part of the date so they don’t miss. We have had times in our family’s life when our girls have really needed their dad and they have not been hesitant to call him. If you have done any reading on the impact dads have on their daughters, then you as the mom will continue to affirm and be grateful to a dad who dates his daughter!!