(Posted by Kelli) First, thank you so much for inviting kids that are noisy and messy into your home, kids that don’t always share the same values! Life is busy enough without bringing more chaos and mayhem in from the outside. We love to hear of families that are willing to open their homes knowing what they are saying yes to!

In our home when friends do visit, they normally are cued in by our own children about what to expect, especially if it’s their first time. For example I’ve overheard my kids telling a friend, “my mom will ask you lots of questions!” That’s true! I try to engage every kid that visits. I want to take an interest in their lives. We also are intentional about creating a place kids want to be. We feed kids, give them rides, help with homework or college applications, and most importantly journey alongside them in everyday life. While they are in our home I am listening and watching how they interact with my own children and adults. If I hear or see something that warrants intervention I quietly and respectfully say something. It’s not uncommon for me to say something like “we are so glad you are in our home, but we don’t say that,” or “we don’t do that in our family”. And all of this happens before we’ve built a relationship or as we say in Young Life have “earned the right to be heard.” After we develop a relationship, we tend to go deeper with our love and care of kids. I have been known to correct grammar, suggest more nutritional food and remind them to always to be ladies and gentlemen.  I have even reminded kids while they are on the phone with their parents to be respectful to adults while in our home!!

One night Tana had some of his teammates over for the night. After we had put them to bed in our basement, David went down to tell them “lights out.” As he was nearing the bottom of the stairs, he heard Tana trying to get the guys to stop using four letter words. We knew these young men pretty well. He simply asked them if they thought we allowed that kind of language in our home. They said no. He then told them passionately how he felt disrespected because they knew it was not allowed and they did it anyway. What a great teachable moment!! David was firm but loving and they knew that we expected them to be respectful and obedient in our home. He wasn’t mad, rather he made it clear that we loved having them, but we expected their best!! The next morning the boys apologized during their home cooked breakfast and they have come back since, without the language!!

Ultimately it’s messy to open our home to our kid’s friends, especially as they get older and for sure if we don’t screen each and every child. But as our reader said above, “We want to meet kids where they're at...” We don’t want to invite bad influences into our home and certainly there are lines we can’t cross when allowing kids to come over. But we rest in the confidence that God is bigger than our guests. We believe the most important influence on our kids is from us. We have often said what happens in our home, between us and our kids, outweighs anything that can happen out there. Keep your focus on your relationship with your own child and do your best to stay on top of your kid’s friends. Our prayer is that as you and your kids live life, the love you model for a watching world will draw their friends and others to Christ.