It was a rude awakening when we first realized our kids had a schedule of their own. We were so used to being able to simply tell everyone to come down stairs for the family meeting. So, it was a bit of a shock the first time we called the kids and our teenagers complained. What do you mean, you have plans? Can you imagine – our family meeting was cramping their style. Suddenly we had to give our kids 48 hours notice when we wanted to gather. Who says technology is bad – I started texting the kids when I wanted a meeting and gave them a chance to respond with conflicts. This was all part of the parental learning curve!

Whether you text, email, call or announce the meeting face to face – now what? What are the goals of a family meeting? What are the components of an effective gathering? Before I get into the practical how to’s –  let me remind you of some big picture principles. You want to have regular family meetings in order to serve as a pressure release valve for the parents as well as the kids. You can also schedule meetings when you have special information to convey – good or bad. And make sure your family gatherings are a time of fun and celebration; not just fixing and correcting. The bible tells us, fathers don’t exasperate your children; a family meeting can help you accomplish that directive. And finally, before you have your first get together, if you’re married, go on a date and talk about what you want to communicate and accomplish. Be on the same page.

You don’t have to do what we did; remember your objective. But, here are some suggestions for that first meeting:

• Pray
• Explain the purpose of family meetings – let your kids know that you are going to have regular gatherings, but if they ever need to communicate something to let you know.
• Apologize if appropriate – we’ll talk more about this tomorrow, but we believe it’s important for your kid’s to see you leading the way when it comes to clearing the slate relationally with the rest of the family. So, if there are things that you have dropped the ball on, this is your chance to model for your kids how to restore relationships
• Explain any changes or implementations – one of the reasons we wanted to blog about family meetings had to do with the family camp we just spoke at in Georgia. Several families expressed a desire to make some changes when they got home. In our opinion the best way to implement those changes are in a family meeting.
• Have fun – make sure you celebrate the things your kids are doing well. Have some food or snacks at the first meeting. Make it so your kids aren’t dreading the next family get-together.
• At the meeting – start with a check-up – see how the kids think you are doing as a family.
• Limit the topics to things that are best covered with the whole group. One on one topics are best left for a lunch or coffee date.
• Cover the family calendar – church events, school calendar, sports schedules, upcoming trips etc.
• Dream together about what God has for your family

This certainly isn’t an exhaustive list, but it should help you get started with your first family meeting. If you’re like most of us, you attend meetings all the time. Doesn’t it make sense to make time to meet about the most important thing in your life (other than your relationship with Christ!)?