One of our readers asks, “We have greatly have appreciated your wise counsel regarding disciplining school-age children and would appreciate your input on another issue. How did you handle the preschool years in terms of education? Did you focus on "home-schooling" your little ones at home? Send them to a private/Christian 3- or 4-year-old program? Or start out right away in the public schools? There are so many differing opinions as to what to do about preschoolers since they are still so vulnerable, and we are confused as to what will be best for our bright-eyed, almost three-year old son (who will soon be a big brother again). Thanks!”

Great question and as we always say we aren’t going to answer it for you! But we certainly want to give some principles to consider when making your decision. The first is always to begin with prayer. This week I was reading “My Utmost for His Highest” and Oswald Chambers said this, “Prayer does not fit us for the greater works; prayer is the greater work.” There isn’t anything more important as you take this journey as a parent than to remember to pray for your kids. It isn’t even so much what you are praying about as who you are praying to. Before you think about what is best for your 3 year old, or 12 year old, or 18 year old, first get your perspective right with God. No one loves or cares for your kids as much as God. Your kids are not your kids – they are God’s children that he has entrusted to you for a season. So let’s always start by getting right perspective with these dear kids!

Second, spend some time with your spouse and decide what your goals and dreams are for your family and your kids. What is most important to you? What is God calling your family to? Remember Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” It speaks certainly to a sense of promise or at least hope that our efforts as parents will not go in vain. But more than that it speaks to us, as parents, getting in tune with how God has designed and wired our child “in the way he should go” and then to train them up in that! Which means, get on your knees, ask the Lord for discernment with your kids. Not every kid is supposed to be a doctor. God isn’t calling every young person into full time ministry. Making a lot of money doesn’t make you a more successful Christian. Being poor doesn’t make you holier. God calls some families to minister to the “Jews” and he calls some to minister to the “Gentiles”. I certainly can’t tell you what God is asking of your family; but God can!

I know, I know… you just wanted to know where to send your child to preschool. The point is this (and this is also the third point) ultimately it isn’t even about which school your child attends. If you are seeking after the Lord in your parenting, then YOU are the primary teacher – not the school you put them in. You have the privilege of training them up in the way they should go, (Deut 6:4-9) when you rise up and when you lie down. The school simply becomes a partner to supplement what you are already doing. In some cases, like when God calls you into some of the public school settings, the school becomes a training ground in and of itself; an opportunity for teachable moments. Obviously wisdom and discernment should be exercised with the age of your kid and the timing for these life lessons. For us, we chose to keep them pretty close through the preschool years. Kelli actually ran a little preschool for awhile. Our youngest child, Sina, did attend a great preschool we found when we first moved to Lakewood. We’ve always found opportunities for our little guys to be with other kids; if not a preschool, then a playgroup or just inviting over friends.

Again, the principle is we are the primary teachers, but these other venues provided opportunities for our kids to gain additional knowledge, or wisdom or life experiences. But, we are right there to instruct, correct, emphasize, or protect. Our goal, even in those early years is to begin developing in them the ability to self-govern, to not need mom and dad there at every turn telling them what’s right and wrong. So, while there is no right and wrong answer for every family, the important issue remains, you are the parent, the teacher, their trainer – never give up that responsibility regardless of the school choice you make. And never forget that God is in your corner!!!